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When His Homework is Your Personal Purgatory

Back in the dark ages homework assignments were written on the chalk board or read off quickly by your teacher in a fight to beat being drowned out by the end of period buzzer or bell. You had to make sure you got the assignment right the first time, there was no website to crosscheck. Agendas and calendars were for business people not students. A quick scrawl on the top of your subject notebook page had to suffice as your reminder of what needed to be done. You probably had a rigid routine back then. You came home, had a snack, and went to your room, alone, to crack the books. Fast-forward to today, and you may wonder, why these days his homework feels like your responsibility. Maybe it’s those emails that seem to pile up in your inbox causing concern and guilt: “Hi Mrs. Johnson, this is Mrs. Smith, Matt’s math teacher. I just wanted to make sure you are aware that Matt did not hand in last night’s homework again.” Maybe you skirt the emails only to get the shock of your life when you read the comments section on your son’s report card highlighting his failure to hand in assignments. This is after he has been consistently assuring you all his classes are going “really well.”

In a rah rah effort to build bonds between you and your child, many well meaning teachers even assign complicated projects for which you are expected to participate. You are supposed to revel in these opportunities right? After all, your child is truly one of the most important people in your world. Why you wonder does that have to translate in to building a model city of the future complete with motorized flying cars?

Put simply, why does her homework feel like it also belongs to you? Why can’t you do as your parents did and let your child deal with it on his own? You know why, because you can’t bear to see her struggle or maybe even tank.

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To finish reading the full story, visit the Psychology Today website:

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