34 Things I Found while Cleaning Out the Minivan

Parenthood means the end of a lot of things. Sleeping in on a Saturday morning. Last-minute date nights. And a clean house. As soon as one room is clean, the other is a disaster. Finish cleaning up from lunch, and it’s time to make dinner already. Expectations of a clean house vanish faster than you can say “stepped on a LEGO.”

Cleaning the house, it seems, is a pointless endeavor. As Phyllis Diller once said, “Cleaning the house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.”

. . . . .

Without fail, whenever I endeavor to clean the car, I find an alarming amount of random things, which never cease to amaze me:

1. A can of tennis balls even though no one plays tennis

2. Half-eaten French fries from last month

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